


Bloodrain: Forecast of Evil!

by Will_Keaton



Category: BloodRayne (Video Games)
Genre: Bad Fic, Deliberate Badfic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 12:58:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Will_Keaton/pseuds/Will_Keaton
Summary: Rayne must save the world from vampires.





	Bloodrain: Forecast of Evil!

Mrs. Bloodrayne sitted peacefully in her office waiting for her next clint to walk into the door. She was a porffesinal monster hunter kiler and she was the bestest in the earth at her Job. This was because she had a secret. She was secretly a half-human half-vampire, also known as a yeti.

But nobody came in through the door so Mrs. Bloodrayne waited again. Someday a old person walked in. “Mrs. Bloodrayne! I need porfesinal monster hunter kiler!”

That made the half vampire smile some. “Cool. What kind of monster am I to be the murdering?

The old person started to cough a bunch cuz that’s wut old peeple doo. Then he says “I need you to go to Washingtits D.C. and kill the Chuppycabra.” Then old person eached into pants and pulled out bag. “I give you bag full of mayonase if you say yes.'

So Mrs. Bloodrayne says yes and rode a horse to Washington A.C.D.C. When she was there she used her half-a-vampire power to start smelling Chuppycabras. She runned up and down all under the city until she smelled something. She finded a homless person and Mr. Homeless Person smelled very badd. Mrs. Bloodrayne knew their had to be a chuppycabra indside the homless cuz otherwise they couldn't smell like that.

She jumped down off of the building and cutted off Mr. Homeless Persons head and taked a look inside his neck hole, but she didn't see any Chuppycabras! then she realized that Mr. Homeless Person smelled bad becuz he eat old shoe for breakfast..

Mrs. Blooorayne keeped looking for Chuppycabra. sometime she found it in the place she looked. She started to do the things she do best and lifted up the statue of President George Lincoln and threw it at the Chuppycabra. bad news she misseed and blew up the whitehouse.

Stop stop!” the chuppycabra was shouted. “Y you try to kill me?”

“It is my job to kill evil monster because I am three-qaurteer vampire!” Mrs. Blodrayne shouted while hanging upsidown from ceiling.

“Okay. I'll meake you deel. If you don't keel me I tell you were you dad is?”

“U know where my dadd is?” Mrs. Bloodrayne was not beliving what her ears told her.

“yes. He is being held captive in 1942 Germany by Nazi's”

“I hate Nazi's'” Mrs. Bloodrayne shouted as lard as she was possible. Then she taked a bus to 1942 Germany.

Mrs. Bloodrayne jumped out through the bus window. She was in a hairy. She knew that if she didn't rescue her dud that the earth would be destroy again.

But first she was Hungary from her long boss ride so she eight a Nazi. He tasted like some chickens.

Before Mrs. Bloodrayne could begin licking for her fatter she was caught in a jam bush set by of umpires. Unlike Mrs. Bloodrayne these were 100% umpire and had evil manicures.

“You are members of the Brimstone society!”

“OMG!” one of the evil umpires expressed “That's totally supposed to be a secret! Like, how did you know?”

“Because you have the printed on your underpants!” Mrs. Bloodrayne pointed triumphantly at there underwears.

Mrs. Bloodrayne used the blades that stuck out of her arm to cut a umpire into a ribbon. Then she reached into her buttpack and pulled out a flashlight and aimed it at a different umpire and went to mars and turned on the flashlight. The blight lite burned the umpires head into Ash.

Then only one umpire was in One Piece. “Wear is mai father!” Mrs. Bloodrayne screamed.

“I will nevar tells you that the Bumstone society have him captured in giant labracastletory underneath German Disneyland!” the umpire says.

Mrs. Bloodrayne similes showing off her pointy teeth which shoots a laser and cut off umpire head.

Earlier that morning Mrs. Bloodrayne used her rocket coffin to sneak into the secret labracastletory underneath German Disneyland. What she find make her blood run old. Her father was taking Nazi DNA and umpire NBA and mixing them together in a blender to make super nazi umpires., also known as cowboys.

“Dad! Why are you doping this?” Mrs. Bloodrayne screamed again. By now her goat was sore so she dank some water.

“The question you asked of me has simple answer that I am now going to tell to you my daughter Mrs. Bloodrayne.” Mrs. Bloodrayne father said. “With these super nazi umpires I will be able to kick Hitler in the balls.”

Mrs. Bloodrayne let out a breath of relish. Her father wasn't evil after all!

“Then when I have finished the conclusion of kicking Hitler in the balls their will be no-one left to stop me from inititiating the planning of my plot to taking over all of the world!”

Mrs. Bloodrayne gasped. Her father was evil after all! And just she realized her shoes did not match the rest outfit. Enflamed with rage and anger Mrs. Bloodrayne lit herself on fires and destroysed all of German Disneyland by smashing it with her head.

“NO! My daughter, Mrs. Bloodrayne, has detrsoyed my plans to inititate a plot to rule all of the planet.” Then a big whole opened up underbelowneath his Nike Air Jordan's and the earth swallowed him up.

Mrs. Bloodrayne was happy that she had shaved the planet, but she was sad now also two because she had become a widow. She was so happy and sad at the same time that she had no motion at all.


End file.
